Listen, sometimes mothers have to take drastic action, or the nuts will run the nuthouse.
Before going to the bathroom, I told my kids, “unless you are bleeding or dying, let me poop in peace”.
Thing 1 and Thing 2 in unison, “Okay Mom”.
Just as the grand finale was beginning, I hear in the other room, “No! Stop! It’s dark in here!” Then a series of thuds, bangs and yelling between my cherubs.
This is not the peaceful dump I had imagined. Drastic action must be taken, a precedent must be set so future poops will not be compromised.
“Get your butts in the bathroom, now”! I hollered. I hate sitting on the toilet longer than necessary. It isn’t comfortable, I don’t know how my husband can treat it like a day at the spa…. The kids open the door and immediately plug their noses.
“If you choose to be mean to each other while I am in the bathroom, I am going to call you in each and every time I poop, just so you can smell it. Be nice, or smell the funk”.
Keep that in your back pocket, moms. You’re welcome.